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Learning to sail before the storm


People have asked me many times over the past 18 months of my journey with Motor Neurone Disease (MND), “how have you stayed so peaceful and strong through it all?”

Sometimes I don’t feel as at peace or as strong as I may appear. However, more often than not, I am.

I believe the reason is that throughout my life I have read the Bible on a regular basis and the word that was in me has given me strength in my time of need. As a believer, a Christian, I hold the Bible in high esteem and see it as a necessary tool to shape my soul and spirit.

Someone once said, “we don’t learn to sail in stormy seas”.  In other words, don’t wait until you are in a storm to learn to sail. Don’t wait until you need the words of God in your life to find out what they are. You could find yourself sinking instead of sailing.

When I was first diagnosed with MND, Lenore, my wife, said to me, “I can’t even read the Bible, I can’t focus, it’s all just too much.”  We encouraged each other to let what we had read and heard previously rise up and give us strength.

It’s called “meditation” or “Holy Spirit enlightenment.”  It comes from chewing on what the Bible says, from reflecting on it and considering how you can apply it to your personal world.

I would hate to think where we would be if we hadn’t already learnt to sail, spiritually speaking.

When I go to a quiet place and read my Bible, it’s not to avoid the world and its challenges but to build my own inner self and strength to be able to deal with anything that comes.

I try every morning to set time aside for reading the Bible and write down something  about what I’ve read. I may just copy down one verse or a needed encouragement at the time. In fact, since 2007, I have determined to write at least something that each chapter has revealed to me.

When I do this, it may have no real connection to my immediate circumstances but it’s like putting money in the bank for a rainy day. I will draw from it sooner or later and I’ll be ready.

In Psalm 23, we find that the shepherd makes the sheep lay down on green pastures. Green pastures are typically what the sheep would eat. This says to me that there comes times when our Shepherd, Jesus, wants us to “lay down” or rest and on what we would normally “eat”.

Here is a verse from the Bible, why not just read it, think about it, and meditate on it.  See if you receive insight, strength or encouragement to your soul.

Psalm 46:1 – “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.”

Phil

4

Me and a bucket of ice

 

Raising awareness for Motor Neurone Disease (MND) or more commonly referred to as ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease in the States, has taken a giant leap forward over the past week with the #icebucketchallenge going viral.

I’m deeply moved and excited because I am confident that awareness is the first step towards finding a cure. As someone living with this disease, it is a personal passion of mine that one day no one would have to.

Neuroscientists have told me that they will find a cure, it’s only a matter of time and resource. In the meantime, with no prevention and no treatment, every 12 hours someone dies from the disease and every 12 hours someone else is diagnosed with it, in Australia alone.

The idea of the ice bucket challenge is pretty simple: get a bucket of ice cold water tipped over your head, nominate friends to do the same and donate to the cause. Everyone’s doing it; Oprah, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and many others in the sporting and entertainment world.

And it’s working. Twenty eight million Facebook users are discussing the challenge, while the ALS Association (ALSA.org) has received unprecedented donations, so far more than $35 million.

Here at home, Kochie, Russell Crowe, footy teams, and politicians are getting behind this social media phenomenon. Tonight, MND Australia are hosting the #icebucketchallenge world record attempt at Etihad stadium in Melbourne.

You may have heard that Neale Daniher, one of our AFL sporting heroes, revealed this week that he has MND / ALS.  Sean Lee, a sports writer commenting on this said,

“It will attack his body, take away his strength, destroy his independence and kill him. Nothing is surer…

And yet Daniher maintains his sense of humour. He remains positive…he says on more than one occasion that he has been lucky. It is a typical Daniher response to hardship. “She’ll be right mate.”

Except that it won’t be right. Not this time.”

As someone battling MND, a disease that I have but that does not and will not have me, I am so encouraged by the #icebucketchallenge, throwing this disease into the realm of public awareness.

Imagine if this crazy, fun challenge was the catalyst for raising enough money to fund enough research to find the right cure for MND / ALS.

Then, like Neale, we could say “she’ll be right mate” and it really would be.

Phil

10

The Art of Beginning

Crossing the finish line last year with Lenore (at an MND fundraiser event).
Crossing the finish line last year with Lenore (at an MND fundraiser event).

I hate arguing with my wife but I like making up. It’s easy to end a disagreement in silence. The hard part is whoever bites the bullet, ends the silence, and starts talking again.

As soon as you start, as in life, the easier it is to move forward.

Take your tax return for example. Many of us put this off until the last possible moment. But no matter how hard it is to sit down and do it, it only becomes easier breaking it down, question by question, hour by hour.

If something in your life seems too big, too hard, too long, too complicated, or too painful to even start, this blog is for you.

I have found that getting started can be the biggest hurdle of a pending victory. In fact, no battle has ever been won unless it was first begun. I’m not saying that starting something guarantees it will be easy. I am saying that starting is the biggest step to victory.

The Bible says that God who “began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished.”  Not even God can complete what He hasn’t begun. And neither can we.

Putting off seeing a doctor for a check-up, talking to a loved one about a sensitive issue, admitting a mistake or even mowing the lawn, only makes it more difficult, and the grass even longer!

The truth is, more often than not, when these things are taken on and started they are never as bad as what we imagined them to be and even if they weren’t pleasant, they are now behind us and not before us.

So, just do it. Procrastination is something we can all beat.

The best way to beat procrastination and the decay of failing to start what needs to be done is to stop making the less important and perhaps easier things the reason for not doing the important thing.

Along the way to completion, remind yourself of the pleasure of finishing, reward yourself along the way, celebrate progress, and maximise your optimum energy times (for me, that’s the morning).

Maybe you haven’t started something because you are afraid of the stress it may cause you. However, have you failed to consider the more harmful stress that procrastination is causing you?  In other words, the longer we don’t start something that needs to be started, the longer we live with the stress of that and the more damaging that can be.

What is it that you need to start today?

Phil

6

Back on track

I never thought I would need one of these.

This picture was taken riding my new four wheel scooter on the local Fernleigh Track.

It’s the first time I have returned to the track since being diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease (referred to as MND, or ALS). I used to run along here all the time, but because of the muscle waste in my feet and calves, I can no longer do that.

To tell you the truth, I would much rather be running: the pace, the clear mind, and the sense of accomplishment. Not being able to run is one type of loss, an unexpected change and disappointment, but I know that many of my readers face their own set of challenges.

For all of us, we have choices to make about our current state of mind, whether we allow challenges to completely derail us or whether we get back on track. Personally, I don’t want to get stuck in a place of sadness or regret for the things I can no longer do. Instead, I want to rest in a place of thanksgiving for the things I can.

In life, we decide whether to live in the memory of abilities or opportunities lost, or in the moment of new experiences to be found. We either waste our time carrying the burden of what we don’t have or we win today’s battle with the joy of what we do have.

Maybe in your yesterday, you were married, but today’s reality is that you are divorced or widowed. Then don’t let that divorce or death steal your life, start to find new ways of moving on, being you and loving again.

Maybe you are single and waiting to be married, or married and waiting to have children. No matter how challenging it is at times, life is far too short to spend our days wishing things were different, missing out on the wonder of life around us.

Or maybe, like me, you face a progressive disability, or simply the challenge of the normal aging process (that’s all of us!).   It’s hard when you find your recovery times are longer and you can’t bounce back like you once did. But do we stop trying or being involved at all just because we’re not as agile or fast as we once were?

I remember hearing from Australia’s most decorated women’s tennis champion, Margaret Court. Just because she is no longer world number one, did she stop playing tennis altogether? No, she still plays. I’m sure she has simply adjusted her game and expectations.

I throw you the challenge today, take your focus off your inability and onto your ability. Consider what you are able to do today that tomorrow you may not be able to and then enjoy doing it.

My scooter rides may not be the same as running but I’m doing what I can do. Besides, on my scooter, I get to enjoy more of my surrounding: the ferns, the beautiful trees, the sounds of bell birds above.

It’s never too late to get back on track.

Phil

21

Money Master

Proud of my youngest, their first home!
Proud of my youngest, their first home!

No matter where I go in the world, I see that money plays a pivotal role in people’s lives. One thing I know to be true is you master money or it masters you.

Just like a master says to the servant “go” and they go, or “come” and they come, if you master your money, you know where it comes from and can send it where you want it to go.

Why am I encouraging you to master your finances in this way? Because if you don’t, someone else or some other thing will.

More than that, you need to decide for yourself what is important to you long term. Do you want to leave a legacy of being generous to those in need, investing into people who will live beyond you and making sure you resource the important things in life?

While I don’t pretend to be an expert, I’m a pastor afterall, here are a few things I have done for years that have helped me control my money –

  • Know your current reality. Do you know exactly how much you earn and spend each week? Do you know where all your income is coming from and where all your spending is going? It starts with writing it down.
  • Create a budget. With a budget, I can decide how much I spend, and what I spend it on. I can see if I need to immediately reduce my expenditure so that it is less than my income. I would be happy to send you a template budget I use (just reply to this blog below so I have your email).
  • Try basing your standard of living on less than your total income. For example, if you are a two income family, you could try living off one salary. This hasn’t always worked for us, but in trying, we have usually only ever lived off 1.5 salaries. The discipline of this, even choosing not to immediately apply pay increases to your spending, sees you able to save and give more.
  • Schedule set amounts to automatically come out of your account so that when the rates, electricity or gas bills come in you are already in front and prepared. I also do this in tithing and giving to my Church: a biblical principal and non-negotiable in my life, allocating resources to what is important to me.
  • Value things with reference to your savings, not your earnings. For example, if a TV costs $3,000 and I earn $600 per week then it doesn’t seem too expensive because it’s only 5 times my weekly salary. However, if I value the TV by how much I save, say $60 per week, then that TV costs 50 times my weekly savings. I should probably think hard about spending 1 year’s savings in one go.
  • Consider tomorrow. I have often wondered if God provides on His foreseeing knowledge. I would encourage you not to spend everything you get today as it could be for what you don’t see coming up in the future. Those who are ready for opportunity can respond to it.
  • Ask for help. If you don’t know where to start with making a budget, or saving for a house, find someone who can show you how. Over the years, many young couples have asked me for help and I hope I have set them up for a life of mastering money.

If the Bible is true when it says that you can have only one master, don’t let money be yours!

Phil

30

Every six minutes

A little distracted (Photo taken on a family trip in Istanbul, Turkey last year)
A little distracted
(Photo taken on a family trip in Istanbul, Turkey last year)

If you are what’s considered an average smartphone user then you check your phone 150 times per day. That’s every six and a half minutes.

We are wired, habitually and socially, to connect with others from all over the world at any moment in time through media forums like facebook, blogs and email. In fact, right now I am speaking to you through one of those.

I just wonder if this type of conversation, now normal, inhibits us connecting with others beyond surface level and with God in a deep way. Perhaps, we have discovered how to be partly tuned into everyone while becoming less connected or tuned into anyone.

We have all become experts in the act of multi-tasking, that is, doing lots of things at once, but how good are we at “uni-tasking”, doing one thing at once?

How do you go focussing on one thing or one person and keeping out all the other noise?

A good way to gauge this is to think of whether you allow your phone at the table when you sit down to a meal or if you allow alerts to interrupt quality time with family and friends. Maybe it’s time you put measures in place to try some uni-tasking.

While there’s no doubt that conversations with one another are important to connect us relationally, the way we converse with God is perhaps the most important conversation of them all. I know it is in my life.

My conversations with God are allowed to be raw and real as I expose my heart and feelings with Him. To talk with Him is to acknowledge His presence and power whilst revealing my need for Him and ultimately my trust in Him. It’s simply prayer.

If you’re not sure how to pray today, Jesus shows us one way to have a conversation with our Creator recorded in Matthew 6: 9-13 as “The Lord’s Prayer”. This prayer gives us a blueprint for one type of conversation we can have with God but it is not the only kind. The important thing is that you are communicating with God.

Prayer inspires my very real, present day, dependence on God’s grace. I depend on God for strength to rise above daily challenges, confrontations and tragedies.

I have found that I never leave these conversations without hope. If I invite Him to, somehow, God communicates to my spirit and soul things that encourage and strengthen me. It’s personal. It’s tangible.

If you’re a busy parent then don’t fret, you can talk to God while feeding or washing kids. A business person can talk to God in the middle of a board meeting or travelling to and from work. I have even spoken to God when signing important documents or while doctors are inflicting painful tests on my body.

Conversations with God can take place at anytime and anywhere.

I encourage you, in light of the number of conversations and frequency of conversations we are all engaged in, let’s not neglect the most important conversation of all.

Phil

6

Worst Case

My niece practicing for the worst case on a recent cruise.
My niece practicing for the worst case on a recent cruise.

Last week I was glad to hear that my blog encouraged some conversations about real life and suffering.

Disability, sickness, bankruptcy, mental illness, burnout and divorce are all situations which can sometimes seek to isolate and disorient people. Many of us are afraid to talk openly about these things at all, even in a “preventative” sense.

However, I think that if we can settle the “worst case” scenarios of life, then we can move on to living life confidently and to the full.

Consider the fact that every lifesaving organisation in the world practices for worst case scenarios.  The helicopter rescue service, surf lifesaving, fire brigade, paramedics, air force, and the army all do it. I don’t think they ever hope that they will have to use the skills they practice, but they are ready if or when needed.

In the same way, wise people, businesses and organisations can prepare for uncomfortable scenarios, whether to prevent them or get through them, in the midst of difficulties they face.

It is possible to tackle real issues head on, without compromising hope and belief that the situations we prepare for will not eventuate.  Preparing for the worst case is separate and distinct from wishing it to occur or causing it to happen.

As a dad, when my kids were approaching their teenage years, I could have pretended that they would never get asked to compromise their values, but instead I talked about the possibility with them and asked them what they would say in scenarios if they happened.

We practiced for the worst case. They were ready to say “no” before the tough questions arrived. Preparation gave them (and me!) confidence and courage.

With my kids, as in life, if I prepare for the worst case and it never happens, I have lost nothing. If I don’t prepare and it does happen, I could lose everything.

Whilst we can’t prepare for everything, when it is in our power to prepare those around us for the worst case, then why wouldn’t we?

Think about your own home. I am sure you don’t hope it burns down, yet you install smoke alarms. I am sure you don’t hope it floods, yet you insure against flood damage. Real life requires real precautions and real preparations.

In my life, I face the challenge of what is classified as a terminal illness. If I don’t talk about disability, death and separation from my loved ones as one example of a worst case, I not only fail to prepare myself but I fail to prepare them. Have honest conversations that prepare the ones you love for life.

Check out the attitude of Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego in the Bible. These guys were facing serious persecution for their faith and are about to get thrown into a blazing fire by King Nebuchadnezzar.

In Daniel 3:17-18, they boldly declare, “If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods...”

They were confident that regardless of the outcome – best case or worst case, nothing would cause them to deny or stop trusting in God. They had settled the issue of “worst case” in their heart and were able to live freely in that.

I hope you can do the same.

Phil

9

Telling the truth

Why do you think what you think and believe what you believe? Are your thought patterns based on what you have heard your parents say? Are your beliefs based on a book you read decades ago?

Today, I want to challenge us to switch off the autopilot and not react to difficult questions based on yesterday’s understanding and beliefs.

Many of our reactive answers to complex challenges and ethical dilemmas come from the pressure to give an immediate answer. This is dangerous because it means we can neglect dedicating time to necessary research. Or even worse, we default to what past generations believed, based on what they knew to be true.

For example, there’s our stance on whether a sick person should be able to access medication not yet approved by our nation’s medical board or a terminally ill person’s decision to cease medical treatment altogether. How quickly we draw a conclusion “for” or “against”, but based on what?

I realise that some ideas and beliefs I hold to today I didn’t hold to yesterday. That’s ok. I’m willing to adjust my thinking if realising my error puts me back on the right path. And if necessary, I’m willing to say nothing at all.

There were days when make-up, jeans and voting were not acceptable for females. That seems absurd today. It makes me think, what are those things today that seem “uncomfortable” or even “wrong” but in a few decades from now, after a more considered approach, will seem “right”?

We say so easily, “how times have changed.” Really? Do “times” have the power to change wrong to right or is it ideas and our bias or preconceived ideas that have changed? Maybe over time, wisdom has had a chance to show its hand and directly influence our core beliefs.

Changing ideas does not suggest weakness or defeat. To the contrary, changing ideas suggests bravely confronting real issues that affect real people’s lives. As a Christian, if I fail to consider Christ’s perspective above all else on any given issue, then I miss out on knowing truth. After all, there is no man in history who has better exemplified grace and truth.

I believe in absolutes, but I also understand that we live in a world where I don’t have all the answers. There are certain situations that demand more thought and an open mind and heart.  I can’t afford not to respond to pain with grace.

While I believe in the absolute of divine healing, that God can, does and is able to heal, in the past that has stopped me being open to someone talking to me about their fear of death or their desire to talk to their loved ones about the possibility of not being healed. As if somehow God would refuse to heal those He loves because they discussed real life and suffering.

What I have realised in the midst of my own battle with disease, and mixing with others in similar battles, is that it’s important I don’t answer people’s questions of deep issues with cliché, off the cuff, unthoughtful answers.

What’s important is that I walk a mile in their shoes.

What’s important is that I allow love to direct my response.

Phil

16

Asking the tough questions

This week Lenore and I are thankful for Hillsong Conference.  We have positioned ourselves in the environment of this Conference spanning over 20 years. Each year, we have received something personal from God and many times it has been the catalyst for a major life change.

Yesterday, we had the privilege of being part of a panel discussing “navigating crisis”.

I was chosen because at this moment my body is suffering with Motor Neurone Disease, a disease that strips the body of all its muscle and leaves the sufferer gasping for breath until their last.  In the past year, I have also met and grieved the loss of friends with this disease.

I love that at such a significant Conference with 25,000 plus people in attendance, we talked so openly about real life crisis.

The bible is not scared to talk about crisis either.  In the book of Acts, we read about the death of James, the brother of John and one of Christ’s followers. It says in Acts 12:2, “Then he (Herod) killed James the brother of John with the sword.”

Imagine the painful separation his brother John faced, losing James at such a young age with so much to live for. They were clearly close: both were fisherman, working for their father, companions of Jesus, leaders of the church. Yet one lives and one dies.

Death can be one such crisis situation. You may be facing the death of a loved one at the moment or maybe life is just hard right now.  You could be wondering, why me? You may even feel judged or blamed for the difficulty you are facing.  I am aware that even in a faith-filled environment, you may feel alone because of the crisis you are in.

Take heart from this story.  Realise that crisis can touch us all, even the friends of Jesus.  Even though you may not feel like it in a hard situation, you are God’s beloved child, His “favourite”, in and out of crisis.

The love of Jesus Christ is as much a reality for those who are living life to the full and those who are experiencing the challenges of life and crisis.

I am also encouraged by John’s reaction to the loss and crisis he faced in losing his brother James.  It did not destroy his faith or stop his walk, it did not take his courage or hinder his calling.

Like John, let’s choose to press forward.  Let’s not allow crisis to cause us to step sidewards or backwards from God’s calling for our life.

In whatever season you find yourself in today, trust me when I say this, environments of love and faith like Hillsong Conference and like your local Church will only bless your life.  So please don’t stay away.  Even if it feels like the hard thing to do, it doesn’t mean it is not the right thing to do.

Phil

11

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