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Fridays with Phil

Life, family and unshakeable faith

“Mind Not Diseased” event part 3.

We talk about the importance of humour and gratitude when facing a terminal illness, how they help to set up a better tomorrow. We also hear from a young mum who is facing MND/ALS with two young daughters.

 

“Mind Not Diseased: part 2

Join us as we talk about Post Traumatic Growth.

 

Mind Not Diseased (MND) event.

I’m joined by 13 friends also on the journey with MND/ALS as well as Psychologist Tarnya Davis.  We talk mental health, self compassion and other practical ways to help you have a strong mind.​

What I shared at “Belong Women’s Event”. Strength in times of weakness.

Greater Love! What is it and is it achievable?

Covid-19 has seen people literally lay down their life for the care and safety of others. But what about you and I how, do we experience this “greater love has no man than he lay down his life for his friend”?

 

TALKING FAMILY LIFE BALANCE.

I was asked about life balance, faith and family. How to navigate life with all its interruptions. Living present! How to navigate our primary relationships in a world that so easily screams for our attention. 

MND/ALS Awareness Week. Meet Chris and Louise Fanning.

Lenore and I visit friends who are also living with MND/ALS. Watch the end we have some fun.

 

I know where I’m going. Coming out of iso from Covid-19

I would rather move slowly in the right direction then fast in the wrong.

 

Living life with no regret!

 

 

Link to my YouTube Chanel. Why not check out this video and subscribe to my channel.

 

The last few weeks we have looked at fear, death, grief, lose and now regret.

These are circumstances and emotions we see as being negative and destroying but I have found we can take the negatives the destroying and turn them into positive ways of building our lives full of purpose and forward movement.

“I don’t have any regrets”! Have you ever had anyone say that to you?

Or ask you; “have you got any regrets”?

I have. It’s a common question that people with a terminal illness are asked. “Any regrets”?

“No regrets”, sounds so confident even courageous.

Psalms 107:10 some of us once sat in darkness living in dark shadows of death. We were prisoners to our pain and chained to our regrets.

Doesn’t say we wont have pain or regret its we don’t have to be a prisoner to them or chained by them.

It’s such an important issue as regret can drive us into depression, shame, bondage, into a life filled with being captive to the past and chained to yesterdays mistakes.

Today I want to show you how you can live a life of no regrets.

How to break the chain of regret!

To take regret and make it a positive experience a real change agent for the better that can lead to:

REDIRECTION,

REGROUPING,

REFINING,

REGAINING,

RESETING,

REFOCUSING,

REPLACING,

REENGAGING,

RECOVERING,

REFRAMING

RELEASING,

REDEMPTION,

RECONNECTION.

RESTORATION,

REBUILDING,

However, I am beginning to realize that if I never had a regret I’d never have changed.

If I never had a regret I’d never grow.

If I had never had a regret I’d never have admitted fault or sin.

In fact I think the only way to live with no regret is to admit and face up to your regrets.

REGRET can help us make sense of the present, avoid future negative behaviour, and motivate us to make the best of opportunities now given.

If you live without ever having regret then you have missed the opportunity to courageously learn and change for the better.

I remember as a young boy stealing a lead pencil from the local Woolworth store. I needed a 2HB pencil and for some reason that I can’t remember I thought the only way was to steal it. When I went home that night with my prize I could hardly sleep I was so ashamed that I had stolen the pencil, I regretted it. Regret for what I had done made me sneak the pencil back into the store the next morning. I can clearly see myself returning the pencil to its shelf.

I knew I wasn’t a thief by nature but I had stolen.

If I had not acknowledged regret then shame would have said I was a thief but by responding I allowed regret to acknowledge my guilt and I changed the direction of my life.

I acknowledged I had done wrong and regret turned into repent. I asked God to forgive me and I responded to His forgiveness by changing my ways.

So my answer in this situation is I had regret but now I have no regret because I have learned from it and not ignored it.

When we do not respond to regret in a positive and constructive way, regret will morph into shame.

Remember shame will try to define you as being a thief while regret will acknowledge you stole and redefine you as you respond to your regret.

Regret is a powerful motivator for change. It will not just change the situation from bad to good but will redirect and reframe your future for the better.

I have learned so much from people who have admitted regret and acknowledged their regret.

I remember talking to a man who refused to have a PEG (a tube passed into a persons stomach to provide a means of feeding when oral intake is not adequate) put in his stomach as he had lost the ability through the effects of MND to eat and swallow.

He came to a place when he wanted to get it but was unable to as the anesthetist wouldn’t allow the operation. He told me he regretted not getting it when he was well enough. He would have lived longer.

I have learned from his admitting regret and have counselled others who have also come to the place of deciding wether to or not get a PEG early. if the time ever comes for me to get a PEG I will get it.

The more you learn from your and others regrets the less regrets you’ll have.

Maybe being vulnerable about our regrets can bring change in others so they don’t have the same regret.

I have no regrets because I have turned those regrets into a change agent.

I remember getting a credit card interest charge of over $100.

I regretted not paying my credit card off, missing the date and not paying it in full. Since then I have never paid interest on my credit card. I pay on time and never allow the card to go above what I can afford to pay off at the end of the month.

Regret changed the way I did my banking and made me get knowledge about how the interest is calculated on credit cards.

If you learn from your regrets then they are truly no longer regrets.

I can say I have no regret about being charged that interest as its’ saved me ever being charged again.

This is going to be a little controversial BUT telling someone who is dying how you feel about them and how much they have meant to you is not going to impact on wether or not they get well, cured or healed but it will insure you will live without regret.

Anything said to a person who is dying and then doesn’t die has only added depth, love and benefited the relationship for the future.

What about the things you regret but can’t go back and change?

If you get stuck blaming yourself and regretting past actions, this could turn into depression and shame . Find a way to forgive yourself and let it go. Most people have an easier time forgiving others than themselves.

There is no regret that can’t be turned into a life changing experience.

You may regret your life of sin allow it to led to repentance, ASK GOD TO FORGIVE YOU AND THEN FORGIVE YOURSELF.

Mark 1:15 And saying, The [appointed period of] time is fulfilled (completed), and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent (ahave a change of mind which issues in regret for past sins and in change of conduct for the better) and believe (trust in, rely on, and adhere to) the good news (the Gospel). Amplified Bible

I hope this helps you acknowledge your regrets so you dont have to live with REGRET.

PEACE AND LOVE.

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