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The last few weeks we have looked at fear, death, grief, lose and now regret.
These are circumstances and emotions we see as being negative and destroying but I have found we can take the negatives the destroying and turn them into positive ways of building our lives full of purpose and forward movement.
“I don’t have any regrets”! Have you ever had anyone say that to you?
Or ask you; “have you got any regrets”?
I have. It’s a common question that people with a terminal illness are asked. “Any regrets”?
“No regrets”, sounds so confident even courageous.
Psalms 107:10 some of us once sat in darkness living in dark shadows of death. We were prisoners to our pain and chained to our regrets.
Doesn’t say we wont have pain or regret its we don’t have to be a prisoner to them or chained by them.
It’s such an important issue as regret can drive us into depression, shame, bondage, into a life filled with being captive to the past and chained to yesterdays mistakes.
Today I want to show you how you can live a life of no regrets.
How to break the chain of regret!
To take regret and make it a positive experience a real change agent for the better that can lead to:
However, I am beginning to realize that if I never had a regret I’d never have changed.
If I never had a regret I’d never grow.
If I had never had a regret I’d never have admitted fault or sin.
In fact I think the only way to live with no regret is to admit and face up to your regrets.
REGRET can help us make sense of the present, avoid future negative behaviour, and motivate us to make the best of opportunities now given.
If you live without ever having regret then you have missed the opportunity to courageously learn and change for the better.
I remember as a young boy stealing a lead pencil from the local Woolworth store. I needed a 2HB pencil and for some reason that I can’t remember I thought the only way was to steal it. When I went home that night with my prize I could hardly sleep I was so ashamed that I had stolen the pencil, I regretted it. Regret for what I had done made me sneak the pencil back into the store the next morning. I can clearly see myself returning the pencil to its shelf.
I knew I wasn’t a thief by nature but I had stolen.
If I had not acknowledged regret then shame would have said I was a thief but by responding I allowed regret to acknowledge my guilt and I changed the direction of my life.
I acknowledged I had done wrong and regret turned into repent. I asked God to forgive me and I responded to His forgiveness by changing my ways.
So my answer in this situation is I had regret but now I have no regret because I have learned from it and not ignored it.
When we do not respond to regret in a positive and constructive way, regret will morph into shame.
Remember shame will try to define you as being a thief while regret will acknowledge you stole and redefine you as you respond to your regret.
Regret is a powerful motivator for change. It will not just change the situation from bad to good but will redirect and reframe your future for the better.
I have learned so much from people who have admitted regret and acknowledged their regret.
I remember talking to a man who refused to have a PEG (a tube passed into a persons stomach to provide a means of feeding when oral intake is not adequate) put in his stomach as he had lost the ability through the effects of MND to eat and swallow.
He came to a place when he wanted to get it but was unable to as the anesthetist wouldn’t allow the operation. He told me he regretted not getting it when he was well enough. He would have lived longer.
I have learned from his admitting regret and have counselled others who have also come to the place of deciding wether to or not get a PEG early. if the time ever comes for me to get a PEG I will get it.
The more you learn from your and others regrets the less regrets you’ll have.
Maybe being vulnerable about our regrets can bring change in others so they don’t have the same regret.
I have no regrets because I have turned those regrets into a change agent.
I remember getting a credit card interest charge of over $100.
I regretted not paying my credit card off, missing the date and not paying it in full. Since then I have never paid interest on my credit card. I pay on time and never allow the card to go above what I can afford to pay off at the end of the month.
Regret changed the way I did my banking and made me get knowledge about how the interest is calculated on credit cards.
If you learn from your regrets then they are truly no longer regrets.
I can say I have no regret about being charged that interest as its’ saved me ever being charged again.
This is going to be a little controversial BUT telling someone who is dying how you feel about them and how much they have meant to you is not going to impact on wether or not they get well, cured or healed but it will insure you will live without regret.
Anything said to a person who is dying and then doesn’t die has only added depth, love and benefited the relationship for the future.
What about the things you regret but can’t go back and change?
If you get stuck blaming yourself and regretting past actions, this could turn into depression and shame . Find a way to forgive yourself and let it go. Most people have an easier time forgiving others than themselves.
There is no regret that can’t be turned into a life changing experience.
You may regret your life of sin allow it to led to repentance, ASK GOD TO FORGIVE YOU AND THEN FORGIVE YOURSELF.
Mark 1:15 And saying, The [appointed period of] time is fulfilled (completed), and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent (ahave a change of mind which issues in regret for past sins and in change of conduct for the better) and believe (trust in, rely on, and adhere to) the good news (the Gospel). Amplified Bible
I hope this helps you acknowledge your regrets so you dont have to live with REGRET.
PEACE AND LOVE.
April 24, 2020 at 9:25 am
Hi Phil, this message is so good and truly life changing I believe! As many out there will be still living with regret and being limited in life as a red of. While reading this I was thinking to my self, I remember stealing lots and not thinking bad about it, this made me feel that I hadn’t regretted it, this made me sad. Then the Lord showed me that after about 8years of living a life of conscious sin I served in youth leadership for 8-9 years for the main reason to help them not to make the same bad decisions I had. And I believe I am living free and blessed as a result also (with a group of other leaders) I can see a bunch of young adults now from that time that are living blessed and free!
Thank you for the honesty and truth you continue to speak/blog it truly makes a huge difference in my daily walk.
May 7, 2020 at 4:28 pm
Thanks Ben. Your such an encourager.
April 24, 2020 at 12:11 pm
Awesome, encouraging words again Phil!! Hope ya horn works mate!! Bless ya!
May 7, 2020 at 4:27 pm
Thanks Greg. LOL.
May 5, 2020 at 5:02 am
So glad you are back blogging, Phil!
I like your youtube videos also. Your voice is so strong. Your messages are clear and encouraging.
Pray Lenore is well.
May 7, 2020 at 4:27 pm
Thank you so much Mary. Lenore knee replacement going well she did her first 10k walk yesterday; approximately 6 miles.
July 13, 2020 at 9:21 pm
Hi Phil! This was such a meaningful blog for me. I loved reading about how our regrets lead us to repent, and also your encouragement to forgive ourselves! I guess I do find myself thinking about those old rags again sometimes, so this just really encouraged me in that I am using my regrets to speak into others’ lives and encourage them into their best life, so they can be spared some regrets.
The Mosses are big fans of yours! X
August 31, 2020 at 11:38 am
Thanks to all the Mosses.